T.J. Hübner
I am T.J, a self-published poet, from the United Kingdom. I never thought of myself as a creative or artistic person, just a regular nine to five worker which changed dramatically.
In 2013 I decided along with my father who was in the early stages of dementia that I would become his full time caregiver taking on the day to day responsibilities with household chores, medication, finances etc. which dad was struggling to remember to do. After a year of caring 24/7, we slowly became isolated within our own little two person world and I started to feel trapped and alone, so I made a decision that I needed to find a hobby or creative outlet to aid with my own and my father’s mental wellbeing. In April 2014, I joined a small writing group where I learnt about how to write and perform my own poetry which really helped me at a time when I wasn’t sure of myself.
TJ can be found on Twitter here or push the "MY WEBSITE" button to go to his website
TJ's books
Book 1
Book 1
Book 1
Selected poem
Standing Before
The man I saw before me was a mystery
Even though we had a long history
Standing before this wooden symbol
I feel as small as a thimble
With the question of what we call life
That with it brings great strife
Never knowing when the end is nigh
As we gaze upon God’s almighty sky
Mourning those, for who it is their time
Death’s clock does its final chime
We come together to pay our respect
Chattering among us, we will reflect
Upon a loved one’s mortal soul
As we make their life cycle whole
From birth to death we know the answer
That we will all become a cloud dancer
But today as we gather to honour you father
You created your own story in life like an author
Son, soldier, engineer, husband, parent and friend
Nearly ninety years of life you did blend
Unfortunately at the end your will was taken
By a disease that leaves the body forsaken
I am thankful, for today you start your eternal life
Hand in hand with your beloved wife
Please keep each other safe, till my time is done
And we are a family again, father, mother and son
So I stand here before you to rejoice and celebrate
Not for your death, for your life I commemorate
With love I see you on your journey
As you join God’s celestial army
Reviews
“Asking questions of myself, subconsciously That I would never dare say aloud, consciously”
Sincere insight into the life of caring for a loved one with dementia; the highs and the lows. It takes patience and perseverance. And when those two things run out, you dig deep and do it anyway. The author knows the score and reminds us to always, “Look, Listen, Learn.”
Reads like poetry for the soul
This book was written with such care and empathy that the love and understanding for their parent touches you. But it takes you through challenges of life many human beings live with. Whether we've become a caretaker to a child that's fallen ill, an elderly parent, or our spouse, there are Pearls of Wisdom to gleam from these pages. The poetry is potent but gives any reader the knowledge and encouragement needed to carry with them for the rest of their days.
The three L's: Look, Listen, Learn prove to be of great value when caretaking, as the author tells us in their epilogue. I also appreciate this from my firsthand experiences. I look forward to more poetry from TJ Hubner. Your Mortality is No More, Vulnerability, Insomnia, and Alone are a few favorites for me, from this collection!
Book 2
Book 1
Book 1
Selected poem
Carer and Protector
I remember how he was so frail
Slim, jaundice looking and pale
The affliction of illness taking its toll
His own life, no longer in his control
Unable to look after himself anymore
Seeing him that way made my heart sore
To him I was son, carer and protector
To me he was father, patient and objector
For seven years, I was his true helper
Holding my tongue and my temper
Doing whatever was required to care
All the time reminding myself to be aware
As time went on I lost the father I knew
Each day brought changes as a preview
To show how cruel dementia really is
Making life for us both a never-ending quiz
Will he, wont he remember me was the question
That came with his memory regression
Dementia took the father I cherished
One slow day by one slow day he perished
Losing all sense of time and reality
In the end recognising nobody
Left to resonate in his own world
Which created a type of dreamworld
Along with memory deterioration
Came significant physical transformation
He struggled with everyday functions
Leading to bodily malfunctions
With a look of helplessness in his eyes
Affecting me to the point of hidden cries
Life became upside down and twisted
As my parent needed to be assisted
Bringing a parental child role reversal
Where care was for love not commercial
Aiding my loved one in a time of need
Making sure their welfare was guaranteed
As the carer and protector for the afflicted
I needed to understand what was predicted
From an illness that still has no cure
My basic role would be to reassure
Watch over him and look for signs
Making sure I learned the guidelines
Being a carer was a great responsibility
Looking after a person with a disability
Learning how to live with individuality
Coping with the stress of emotionality
Being strong for a loved one in distress
A strategic game of human chess
That game of chess has now ended
The grief I feel, not comprehended
I know the end comes to us all
The fact of life that will befall
Thinking of the loss brings on a tear
With the future ahead is unclear
Reviews
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Available as
paperback - £6.99
e-book - £2.40
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Available as
paperback - £6.97
e-book - £3.67